When I Grow Up...

The older I get, the more I wonder what I want to be when I grow up.  I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, and I love my job, but there are SO many things you can do with a nursing degree.  I feel like there are too many options!  Sometimes I want to become a pediatric nurse practitioner and work in a pediatrician’s office.  Sometimes I want to get my degree in nursing education and be a professor at a nursing college.  Sometimes I want to stay in bedside nursing, and sometimes I want to go back to working in a specialty.

…and then I became a mom.  Becoming a parent (or primary caregiver for a child) changes everything about life as you knew it.  I remember telling Jon and my mom after Aidan was born that the Kaitlin I knew before was gone, and I didn’t know who I was anymore.  Thankfully I’ve pieced together some of before-kid-Kaitlin with some of Mommy Kaitlin and created a Frankenstein-esque new person in the past few years.  I never thought I was patient before having kids, but anyone that has witnessed a toddler try to dress themselves independently can attest that it takes soooo much patience.  I never thought of myself as creative before having kids, but keeping 2 toddlers occupied all day takes creativity (enter Pinterest).  I never really thought of myself as lonely before, but motherhood can be super isolating at times.  I never really thought of myself as strong before, but carrying around 2 kids (inside and outside of my body) has shown me that I am.  Anyone that can manage to carry a wiggly 1 year old, a giant diaper bag, and 8 bags of groceries at once is strong in my book.

So while I’ve discovered so many things about myself through motherhood, I still don’t really know what I want to do with my life.  Since having the boys I’ve discovered tons of new interests and hobbies.  I’m totally passionate about breastfeeding and supporting new moms, so sometimes I want to become a lactation consultant and postpartum doula.  Babywearing has been a godsend for me and sharing it is a passion of mine as well, so sometimes I want to be a babywearing educator.  I am fascinated by the idea of homeschooling my kids, so sometimes I want to stay at home with them forever and become a homeschooling mom.  I’ve gotten into using essential oils since shortly after Max was born and that’s been something new and fun to learn about, so sometimes I want to share/educate others on everything I’ve discover about essential oils and living more naturally.

So many different routes I could go.  For an admittedly extreme Type A who has to plan everything, I’m a little paralyzed by the notion that I don’t know what my future holds.  So here’s me trying to cope.  I figured I could start this blog as I try and stay content in the present while figuring out what the future holds.  It will be a place where I talk about all the things I’m passionate about while I decide which to pursue.  Raising my kids, while I’m still growing up myself.  I have no idea if this will interest anyone but me, but if it does, I’d love it if you’d join me on this journey.