Aidan is FOUR!

My biggest boy is FOUR!  Aidan's birthday was on March 14.  I can't believe he's so big.  Four is REALLY not a baby anymore; not a toddler either.  Four is a preschooler!  He's tall and gangly and has such a grown-up boy face.  At his 4 year checkup, he was 3'4" tall and weighed 36 lbs.

His vocabulary surprises me every day.  Aidan is such an amazing big brother, and he's really stepped up to the plate since we brought Merle home.  He loves to help me out around the house and do "big boy" things that Max can't do yet.  He loves spending alone time with Mom and Dad.

Like me, Aidan likes to have a few close friends, and can get overwhelmed/overstimulated in large group situations.  He also loves to stay home and hang out around the house in his pajamas like Mom and Dad.  Aidan does NOT like to draw, and can easily get frustrated when he doesn't succeed at something at first try.  He knows all his letters and numbers and can tell me what sounds all the letters make.  We're working on sounding out words and starting to read short words.  After a long power struggle (in which Aidan won), Aidan is finally tracing words and really likes to practice writing his name.

When he feels emotions, he REALLY feels them - good or bad.  Sometimes I feel like I've been riding an emotional roller coaster at the end of a day with him, but when he is sweet, he is SO sweet.  He's very affectionate and likes to cuddle, bring me flowers when we're playing outside, and tell me I'm beautiful.

I love to hear how his mind works and see the world through his eyes.  He is very rules oriented and likes to tell me when I'm breaking a rule or when someone else did ("Mommy, 'hate' is NOT a nice word!").

Some of his favorite things include playing outside, trail mix, playing video games with Dad, playing with Max, his Optimus Prime toy, cooking with Mom, and the movie Monsters, Inc.  He's doing well in preschool 2 mornings a week and really loves his teachers, even though some mornings he does have a hard time getting up and going to get ready.  He sleeps from 7 or 7:30 pm until 7 am (praise the Lord), but doesn't take a nap anymore.  I really love spending quality time with him while Max naps in the afternoons.

Aidan, I am so lucky to be your Mom.  You make me laugh.  You challenge, grow me, and test my patience every single day, but I wouldn't change a thing.  I see so much of myself in you, and I'm constantly trying to monitor my own behavior to set a good example for you and your brother.  Thanks for being my big boy, being my guinea pig at this parenting gig, and loving me more than I deserve.

The Best Money a Pregnant Woman Can Spend

It's World Doula Week!  What is a doula you ask?  In short, a doula is a support person for pregnant women before, during, and after labor.  The word Doula is Greek and means "women's servant."  Frequently, when I talk about doulas, the first response I get is "They didn't have those when I was having kids."  Not true!  Doulas have existed since the beginning of time and have been helping babies enter the world for centuries.  World Doula Week is a week to honor doulas for their work and to raise awareness.

I had the most amazing doula with me for both Aidan and Max's births, and I don't know what I would've done without her!  Aimee (and her fellow doula Christi) taught the childbirth class we attended, met with us and provided support leading up to my labors, and Aimee attended both of my births.  She stayed with us for HOURS during my long and complicated labor with Aidan, and barely even got there before Max was born because he was in such a rush once he decided he was ready.  She also provided support postpartum - helped with breastfeeding, bonding issues, and even helped me out when I was a mess emotionally after Aidan's birth.  She has SUCH a calming and supportive vibe.  She was an integral part of both my births, so much so that they day I found out I was pregnant with Max, Jon said, "We've got to call Aimee!"

So, let's get into the details:

What is a doula?

A doula is a trained professional that provides emotional, physical, and educational support to women during pregnancy, labor, and the postpartum period.

What does a doula do?

Typically, doulas meet with pregnant women during their pregnancy to establish a relationship and discuss the woman's birth plan and preferences.  They can answer any questions or concerns the woman may have regarding the birth process and help prepare them mentally/emotionally for labor.  A doula does NOT provide medical care or advice!  They can provide women with the information they need to make informed decisions regarding their own care.  A doula can even help you document your labor and delivery; I was so out of it that I don't remember big chunks of time during my labor with Aidan; all of the photos in this post were taken by my doula!  (Sadly, Aimee is not in a single one of them.)

During labor, doulas are close by the laboring woman's side.  They can provide pain relief techniques, help with relaxation, provide massage, and even help get the laboring woman into positions that will facilitate optimal labor.  Doulas do not take the place of a partner, if a partner/spouse is present, but they can support and encourage the partner to participate in the labor and birth at their own comfort level.   Doulas can advocate for the laboring mom to help them get the birth that they desire in a safe way.  After the birth, doulas can help with bonding and provide breastfeeding support.

Why should I hire a doula?

Aside from providing emotional support, there are numerous studies to support the benefits of having a doula.  Women who have doulas are shown to have a decreased rate of pain medication use, and a decrease in the amount of interventions during labor.  Women who have doulas also report having an more positive childbirth experience.  Here are some statistics that blew my mind; women who have doulas during labor have:

A decrease in epidural usage by 60%

A decrease in c-sections by 50%

A decreased in Pitocin usage by 40%

A decrease in length of labor by 25%

If those statistics aren't enough to convince you, I don't know what is!

But what if I'm NOT planning an unmedicated birth?

Having a doula there will still be invaluable!  Your doula can still provide emotional support for you and your partner.  Everyone benefits from a decrease in interventions during labor - pain meds or not.  Your doula can also help with pain management before and after you get pain medications; even an epidural doesn't take away every discomfort - HELLO ring of fire!

I ended up with a VERY complicated labor with Aidan due to fetal distress.  I had pretty much every intervention short of a c-section.  Internal monitoring, a catheter pumping saline back into my uterus to replace amniotic fluid, IV antibiotics for Group B Strep, infiltrated IVs... the whole shebang.  I was planning on having an unmedicated birth with minimal interventions, needless to say that did NOT happen.  Things got chaotic once I got to the hospital and they realized that Aidan wasn't tolerating labor well.  Jon and I were completely overwhelmed and terrified.  Aimee was there to support us every step of the way.  I ended up getting an epidural after 24 hours of labor because it was all too much for me.  Aimee slept in the hospital room with us for the next 12 hours until Aidan was born and even stayed with us until my mom got to the hospital.  When I was pregnant with Max I planned to get an epidural, but still wanted Aimee there.  Lo and behold, there wasn't time.  She helped calm me down when I freaked out after realizing I was going to have to give birth without drugs.  All of this to say, two different births, both surprising/unplanned, and I was so glad to have her there both times.

Want more info?

Doulas of North America (DONA) has certified over 12,000 in the 25 years it has existed.  There are other organizations that train doulas as well, DONA is the biggest/most well known.  There are antepartum and postpartum doulas as well!  You may even be able to use your FLEX plan or insurance to cover doula fees; we used our FLEX plan to pay for our childbirth classes and part of our doula fees.  Want to find a doula near you?  Click here.